Mourning the Loss of the Guardian

My Beloved Friend & Guardian

I haven't been on in a while. A lot of critter tribulations. First Copper became ill and passed away. Now, Maverick.

Shortly leading into May 2, 2011, Maverick's eating was noticeably changed. I brought him to the vet on May 2nd. His blood work showed elevated white blood cells, as well as some other issues.

Diagnosis: most likely a gastrointestinal cancer.

I fought the diagnosis. Could not except the youngest dog had cancer and was going to die. The inevitable was not something I could except. I tried to get him to eat. The more time progressed the less he would. I would cook for him. Every piece of food he ate I triumphed only to be let down at the next meal. I convinced myself maybe it was this or maybe it was that. No. It was nothing else.

In the wee hours of the morning, June 1st, Maverick became restless. I tried to comfort him. Thought maybe he has to go to the bathroom. I walked him outside. He attempted to go down the stairs of the deck. He collapsed on his way down only to end up in my arms at the bottom of the stairs. I screamed for him in the darkness of night. Holding him there. When family members came, I was there holding him, his eyes in an icy glaze of a stare, with me weeping uncontrollably over him.

We stayed with him for a few minutes; then, tried to get him onto a blanket to carry him back onto the deck & then into the house. Once on the deck, the glaze vanished from his eyes. He tried to stand. Wobbly, he did. He attempted to walk to the door to go inside, but he couldn't. We carried him in on the blanket.

Once again, he lay on the blanket, now in the house. Again, he tried to stand. Wobbly, he walked around the dining room table and stood there. I held him to steady him. He slowly sat down and then laid down. I laid down next to him. My arms around him. Comforting him. I told him, if it's time, you can go. I didn't want him to suffer. That was 4 a.m.

Two hours passed. I held him for 2 long hours, crying & telling him I loved him, but didn't want him to suffer. I told him to go ahead Dad was waiting for him at the Rainbow Bridge with Copper and all the other critters.

At 6:10 a.m., Maverick, my guardian, took his last breath.

Good bye my friend. I will always love you. I will always cherish you & your memory. I will never forget you.